Monday, January 31, 2005


Well, I had noticed that other bloggers have actual titles to go with their daily blogs. I think it's a great idea, but today the creative juices are a bit sluggish. Hence my "title".

Father, today I ask that You grant John favor in the eyes of his new employer.

John's job is really on the brain today. I'm trying not to worry about this. It's so important for this job to work out, and he was late for his very first day! UGHHHHHH!!!!! But what do you do now? Pray for God to work good through this trouble. I'm never late for anything, but I had taken a Benadryl last night, hoping to feel better today, and I slept later than usual. And the alarm either didn't go off, or went off, I never heard it, and John turned it off in his sleep. Well, the kids got to school on time, at least.

Well, I did it! I did 25 minutes of my Gin Miller step DVD, and boy did I ever fight for every minute of it! I'm still sick, and don't really feel like doing anything. But I'm tired of being sick. Guess I'm hoping that this will burn it out--LOL. Gin asked what our RPE (Respiratory Perceived Exertion--ranges from 1--not working to 10 about to croak) was, and I said about a 5 (supposed to be working in the 3-7 range). I said 5 (quite happily)! Daniel looked up from his homework, and said, "You look like you're gonna blow a gasket, Momma." Thanks. LOL.

Sunday, January 30, 2005


Wow! It's already so late! Well, I took a 5 hour nap today, so I guess I'm not as tired as normal.

Malachi decided that he should wake up and throw a fit at 2am this morning. By the time I got him settled in and sleeping again, I was wide awake. So, I got up and read some posts on the message board-- if you were curious. Then, I took my shower and went to work. I was so tired at work! I worked from 6am to 12pm. Not too long, but it felt like forever. I was quite sure that the clock had stopped working. The 911 map computer guy came up to check on our system and was less than pleased that the program was shut off and one of our terminals was turned off! We have 2 terminals, and I really only use one, so I hadn't noticed that the other one was off. And as for the program being shut down, I still had the map up on the screen, it just wasn't auto-locating the 911 calls as they came in. I just thought it was some kind of a glitch and was just typing the locations in to find them. It works, it just takes more time. The guy fussed at me for both problems. Hey! I'm still relatively new and computer aquainted--not friendly. I just didn't know. Oh, well. Maybe the fella was having a bad day. He was working on a Sunday, for goodness sake. When I finally got home, I went straight to bed--do not pass go, do not collect ANYTHING! And I kid you not, I woke up 5 hours later! John said that the LTC stuff was cancelled for Daniel, but I really would have liked to have gone to church--even if not for me, my kids needed to go. I was a little irked. But it was too late.

Well, it's a little late, and I have to get up and get kids to school in the morning. It's John's first day at work! WHOO HOO!! And maybe I can get a nap in with Malachi before I have to go in and work 6pm to 6am. Good night, blog! : )

Saturday, January 29, 2005


Well, here I am again. Tired. And I just got a call requesting me to come in to work at 6am in the morning for my boss who had an 18 y/o family member in a head-on collision today. Sigh. Well, I can do this! I would hope that someone would do the same for me if I were in their position. And also, until John brings in that first paycheck, I can't really afford to turn down the extra shift. (Sitting up straight) I can do this.

Today was a nice sort of day. We didn't get to sleep in too much, because Mr. Malachi decided that we all should get UP. LOL. So, we started our day on the early side. But I got to sleep in my own bed instead of working, so I am thankful (thank You, God). I didn't do any aerobics today, because I'm still not feeling very well. But I WILL be able to do them soon. And anyway, I'm tired of being sick. I don't have time to be sick! LOL. We didn't do too much today. Just went grocery shopping and watched some movies. We cooked some steaks that we found on sale and baked potatoes, and we baked cookies. It was nice. We watched Mary Kate & Ashley's "New York Minute". Madeline LOVES Mary Kate & Ashley, and they do make nice clean movies. A little hokey sometimes, but clean and this one was pretty funny. We all laughed our heads off.

I was reading my message board today, and found a disturbing message. Apparently, there is a Sponge Bob movie made solely for the purpose of advocating sexual tolerance. And when the movie is over the 6 & 7 y/o's will be asked to sign this pledge:

Tolerance is a personal decision that comes from a belief that every person is a treasure. I believe that America's diversity is its strength. I also recognize that ignorance, insensitivity and bigotry can turn that diversity into a source of prejudice and discrimination. To help keep diversity a wellspring of strength and make America a better place for all, I pledge to have respect for people whose abilities, beliefs, culture, race, sexual identity or other characteristics are different from my own.
You heard right, blog, 6 & 7 y/o's My almost 6 y/o only talks of kissing so far. And we've had the talk together of how important it is to save that first kiss for someone really special. And I feel that that is my right and privelege and responsibility to talk these sorts of things over with my children. I will be held accountable to God for how they turned out one day. But anyway, there were several posters that had a problem with this (rather surprisingly, since tolerance seems to be a magic word these days, and I often find myself in a limited crowd with my feelings and morals. Then one lady posted the following:
When did tolerance become a dirty word?
What is going on in this country? Do we not have more important things to worry about than whether or not children are being taught tolerance in schools? When in god's name did tolerance become a dirty word and a value that clearly must be avoided at all cost? There are alot of things that I don't like in this world but I still find it in me to try not to judge and to be tolerant and accepting of people's differences. But somehow, somewhere along the line that must have become the wrong thing to do.
Clearly now it's not a matter of ye who are without sin cast the first stone but a matter of bombs away. If you don't like it or approve of it, then it must be wrong. Show me the nearest quarry, I'm in need of some stones. For some reason the thing most impossible to accept or tolerate is a same sex union or children with parents in such a union. My advice to you people that are so against it is very simple... You don't like it, don't enter one. Simple as that. But what gives you the right to define how love should look? My daughter will grow up knowing that whatever she does or whomever she chooses to love or have a child with, I will always love and support her in her choices in life. Will I always agree with them? Probably not, but I will accept them and respect them because after all, if it makes her happy, what more could I ask for?
So in conclusion, find another outlet for all the excess energy that you are putting into hating or judging and do something positive with it instead because nothing good ever came out of judging other people.
I did think hard before posting, but this was my response:
I'm sure I'm just reduntantly echoing the OP's, but if you're referring to the tolerance pledge, I don't think that it is the place of the school to teach 6-7 y/o's tolerance of anything sexual--whether it be homosexuality or protected sex or abstinance. Like I stated in an earlier post, I discuss these things at home with my 11 y/o, but with my almost 6 y/o, all she's really ready for is talking about kissing. That apparently is the talk of that age in her school. And we deal with that at home--not at school. Blessedly, at our schools, we have a really good staff with a good head for what is appropriate for their age--or not.
As for judging, I don't have that heavy responsibility. God is the ultimate judge, and he's already laid out what is right and what is wrong. Accordingly as His child, I do my dead level best to love my neighbor and treat everyone I come in contact with with love and respect. I love the person, but I am not called to love everything they do.
Just me & my house . . .
Joshua 24:15
(God, please let me have spoken as You would have me to do. I know I cannot change people's minds on my own, but You can. Let me have just planted a seed, and let these people see that Christians reflect Your love.)
Anyway, that was that. I reckon that was my stand for the day--LOL.
Well, I guess I'd better go to bed, blog. I'm already tired, and I have to get up at 4:30am. Good night! : )

Friday, January 28, 2005

Friday, the 28th of January, 2005 / 8:37pm

Well, here I am again. Whoa boy, am I tired! I worked last night from 6pm to 6am, and I had only gotten about 3 hours of sleep the day before. And I had missed my M.O.M.S. (Making Our Mothering Significant) meeting last Friday (because I didn't know that the day was Friday already--LOL). And I really miss those meetings when I don't get to go. Those ladies really seem to be striving toward the same Goal I am. In any case, I was going today! And as usual, I was SO glad I did. We're reading the book, Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free. What a good book it has turned out to be. I have really learned quite a bit from reading it. Today's lies were "I can't control my emotions", "I can't help how I respond when my hormones are out of whack (It's understandable to act like a shrew at certain times)", and "The answer to depression must first be sought out in medication and/or psychotherapy". That last one was the one that we talked about the most. Most of the women in the class had suffered from depression at one time or another. LOL--and I never told anyone when I was suffering and taking Zoloft, because I was worried about how people would view that. And we talked about that. Because so many people think like I used to--that these sad people should just snap out of it! Pull themselves up by their bootstraps, so to speak--and most of them really are unable to do so without help. I was concerned at first about the title, because it sounded to me like the author thought that to seek out professional help was not the thing to do, but that's not so. She just says that our first response should be to go to God with it. That sometimes, depression is caused by illness in the heart--unresolved conflict, guilt, bitterness, unforgiveness, claiming of rights, anger, and self-centeredness. And that if this is the case, medication will likely not do much good without first resolving the root issues. That medication helps you see things more clearly, and not colored with the depression (i.e. hypersensitivity--my problem) so that you with God's help can actually solve the problem. Sometimes the depression really is a chemical problem. But also, the whole person can be affected by these root issues--so maybe the root issues are causing the chemical problem? Something to contemplate. But so many of the women had different stories to tell. J's problem started when her mother died when J was only 24. She really struggled with the depression, and didn't want to read the Bible--didn't want to go to church. She said she found herself in church hoping that her toddler would act up so she would have to take him out. But she said one day (and she could remember the very moment that God spoke to her in church), they were singing the song, "Faithfulness". She said God spoke to her through that song and told her, "Child, I know you're suffering, but what I need from you is faithfulness. That's all." And J said that it wasn't a sudden rising from the mire, rather a journey out. But that was the moment when she began to climb out. And she still has days that she can feel the mire trying to pull her back in, and she has to work to keep climbing out. And D was telling us a really good story about her post-partum depression, but I can't for the life of me remember what exactly was the verse that God spoke to her from. OH! I wish I could remember! I'll have to ask her, because it was a jewel! But all the struggles that the ladies spoke of, I could remember so well. (shudder) I remember how much of a struggle it was to get myself to leave my home just even for an hour or so. I didn't want to go to church, I didn't want to be around my family (because I always got my feelings hurt due to my own hypersensitivity), but the biggest thing I remember was not wanting to go out, because I would have to smile at people--and OH! I really didn't want to! And isn't that awful? If there is anything that is more a part of me than smiling, I don't know what it is. I LOVE to smile and laugh. But that's how deep the mire was. Oh, I'm so glad that I don't feel like that today! And I don't have to take the Zoloft that helped me gain so much weight and be so tired all the time! I still struggle with the feelings once in awhile, but for the most part, I can shake them off.

LOL--well I just preached a sermon, didn't I? Not my intention, be assured. I just get talking (or typing as the case may be), and take off! But anyway, I picked up Malachi from the nursery, and guess what? He had already had his morning nap! OH--I wanted to wail! I was so tired, and wanted nothing more than to curl up with Malachi and take a nice nap--especially since it was nice and overcast outside. I got home and thought I would try it out for a bit. Malachi squirmed, he giggled, he talked, he pinched! What he did NOT do was to fall asleep! So, we played for a little while. He really did look sleepy, so I put him in his bed. He was not happy to be there (but he never is--he thinks he belongs in MY bed!), but I went and laid down in my bed where he could see me. Soon, he was asleep, and so was I. Then, I woke up an hour later--I WAS LATE TO PICK THE KIDS UP!!! The alarm clock was merrily beeping away loudly, as I assume it had been doing for A HALF HOUR!!! I couldn't believe it! I never oversleep! But I guess I was so tired that I never even heard the silly alarm. I jumped out of bed, snatched up a peacefully sleeping Malachi, strapped him in his seat in the car and took off! I was so full of adrenaline, that I don't think I felt my legs for about 4 blocks! I felt so bad when I went to pick my little Maddie up from school, and she looked so sad sitting in the hallway with the other left behind kids. Her little face just lit up when she saw me, and she jumped up and ran into my arms. I felt this small. And when I picked Daniel up, he had that pained, worried look on his face. He got in the car and said, "Where were you! I called the house and your cell phone. Why didn't you answer?" Here I was this small again. I had been in such a panic to go get the kids when I woke up, that I had left the cell phone at home. But everyone is home safe now. John has his toolbox carefully delivered to his new job (thank you, Corporal Moody for the loan of your truck!), and he's ready to start his new job Monday.

In the meantime, I have the weekend off and so does the rest of my family, so we can all be together! I'm so excited! With Malachi's surgery and NCIC school, my schedule was all twisted around, and I haven't had a weekend off with my family in I-don't-know-when! Tomorrow, we're going to have a celebration dinner to celebrate John's new job! We're so excited! It will be so nice to get caught up on the bills, build our savings back up, and be able to buy our kids clothes when they need them. Thank You, God!

Good night blog. I'm too sleepy to continue to make sense any longer . . .

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Thursday, the 27th of January, 2005 / 4:16pm

Well, this is probably not the best time to do this, because I have to jump in the shower in about 11 minutes to get ready for work. But I couldn't just create this blog and leave it!

As short as it is, I'll have to leave it for now, because praise God, John got a job and wants to tell me all about it! WHOO HOO!!

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